chelsea coming

I split open the plastic on my Chelsea Guide today. It's quite intimidating. Hundreds of exhibitors, 30+ show gardens, shopping and eating options that run to pages. We're going by bus, and for the first time, and we're not in the target demographic. But still I'm fascinated, in the way that the Proms, or a Wembley Gig, or a classic opera with fireworks or any other huge cultural event is fascinating; people like this, there must be something here.

Of course, it always helps to have some specific aims in mind, too, and we are both taking our trolleys, which hopefully won't be too infra-dig for the Chelsea crowds (did I mention there are seven Champagne bars? there are seven champagne bars, and a caviar bar, which probably also sells champagne), so here are my objectives for the day:

• Spot a sleb. It's the Gardener's World day, so the forecast should include a good chance of Carol, though I note that the Raven is also attending. If I fail to spot one, I'll declare somebody a celebrity anyway, as there are now far more famous people than I can keep up with and I am sure there will be lots of famous people I don't recognize.
• Buy a Fuchsia. Fuchsia Jewel Lime, if I can find it, although the boat may have sailed for this year.
• See all the show gardens. Last year the aesthetic was quite corporate tax avoider millionaire; this year there are hints of something stranger going on.
• Walk through some floral arches. There's one for the queen, which is apparently based on some high victoriana bobbins, a tunnel of roses and an orchid bower which promises an "authentic rainforest experience" which I suspect means misters. 
• Buy a bonsai planter for my miniature Acer - currently it's in a safe and functional black plastic pot (as advised by the Acer Society of ...somewhere? the Midlands I think? when I bought it) and I keep drawing a blank on suitable planters locally - so let's see if I can find any innovative pots.

Other than that I'll take it as it comes. I may Tweet, especially if I see any wildlife; and I suspect my Instagram may do a little scrapbooking on those things which are beautiful, but will never come home with you. Speaking of which, I sorted out my hair:

As a nice bonus, I now have green fingers. Chelsea ready!