ten top trends for 2018

So, since the new year I've been mainlining the various catalogues I've been sent (you get a lot around Christmas) aiming to extricate trendlets; the emergent messages from what's available, what's good, what's interesting. Of course, it all gets mixed up with what I like and what I want, but nevertheless, trends have emerged. So here's what I reckon we'll be loving in 2018:

• Pastel coloured vegetables - everybody is going gaga for Mangetout Pea Spring Blush, and its cousin Sugarsnap Opal Creek, but see also Tomato Striped Stuffer, Cauliflower Sunset, and Cucumber White Wonder, Rosa Bianca Aubergine, as well as the ridiculously barbie-hued Radish Bluemoon and Redmoon.  
• Dead Hedges - bang in stakes or posts a suitable width to suit your garden (Alys Fowler suggests 50cm, but I reckon you could do something useful for the bugs with a handspan apart, if you do a bit of hurdling) and use it as a repository for your woody non-compostables. Very useful for when your brown bin has blown away in Storm Eleanor.
• Op art plants -  black and white together, and we're talking proper black and white. Antirrhinum Night and Day doesn't cut it. You need something exotic like Ipomoea Sweet Caroline (see also Tropical Waterfalls) or the exquisite Ying Yang Bean.
• Chameleons - colour changers are having a moment. See Calibrachoa Chameleon, destined to be ubiqitous this summer and its big brother, Petunia Chameletunia Mango. Nastertium Orchid Flame, cycling through oranges and golds, and Sweet Pea Turqoise Lagoon, which can't decide if it's pink or blue.
• Tropical waterfalls - Does it look unreasonably tender for our climate? Does it have a tumbling habit? Step forward Lotus Fire Vine, Lofos Burgundy Falls or Compact Pink, Datura Double Golden Queen, Jacobinia, Rhodochiton Purple Bells, Ipomoea Cardinal Climber or Purple Heart, and Dolichos, the Lablab vine you will enable our Fearful Climate-changed Ballardian Terrace Life Fantasies this summer. Order Lysimachia Goldilocks to fill in the gaps.
• Christmas coloured Zinnias - Queen Red Lime is looking good, as is Zinderella Peach. If Zinnias are too much work for too little return, try Dahlia Floorinoor and enjoy the look year-on-year.
• Delicately patterned and coloured fruits - Fig Tree Panachee, with its antique stripes. Raspberry Valentina with its apricot hues, Billardiera (see also Tropical Waterfalls) and the astonishing ice-hued Blackberry Polarberry.
• Cocktail Calendula - 2018 is the year of the Marigold according to one of the catalogues (the others seem unaware) so celebrate with Calendula Fruit Twist, Calendula Neon, Orange Flash and Calendula Snow Princess. Or, as seems more likely, the pile of random marigold seeds you have saved in a brown envelope somewhere.
• Flaming ground cover - Coleus Black Dragon is a good start, add height with Celosia Dragon's Breath; add cool yellow sparks with Kirengeshoma if you're shady and Achillea Gold Plate if you have sun.
• Aquilegia Tequila Sunrise - My final trend is just a plant, but I think it will get around this summer. Probably not literally, I'll be astonished if it breeds true.